Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers

“Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers, then we know who owns them.”

~Robin Williams
Everybody is so obsessed with bodybuilding. We need to start building

“Everybody is so obsessed with bodybuilding. We need to start building our minds before we have a country filled with a bunch of strong, dumb motherfuckers.”

~George Carlin
So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony. But if they lie to us its politics.

“So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony. But if they lie to us its politics.”

~Bill Murray
It's better to have your nose in a book, than in someone else's business.

“It's better to have your nose in a book, than in someone else's business.”

~Adam Stanley
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

~Groucho Marx
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

~George Carlin
If you behaved like your government you'd be arrested!

“If you behaved like your government you'd be arrested!”

~Unknown
Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them, then you are an asshole.!!

“Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them, then you are an asshole.!!”

~Unknown
Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”

~Dalai Lama
Just legalize everything and let Darwin do the rest.

“Just legalize everything and let Darwin do the rest.”

~George Carlin
An imagination comes to an open mind and that which comes to an empty

“An imagination comes to an open mind and that which comes to an empty/materialistic mind is just a hallucination.”

~Anuj Somany
Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them.

“Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want.”

~Harvey Specter
You know what I like about pen and paper Nobody can hack into this shit.

“You know what I like about pen and paper? Nobody can hack into this shit.”

~Samuel L. Jackson
If I tell you I'm good, probably you will say I'm boasting. But if I tell you I'm not good, you'll know I'm lying.

“If I tell you I'm good, probably you will say I'm boasting. But if I tell you I'm not good, you'll know I'm lying.”

~Bruce Lee
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

“If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”

~P. J. O'Rourke
If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself.

“If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself.”

~Unknown
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in

“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”

~Bill Watterson
You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.

“You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.”

~Ethel Barrymore
No matter how great the talent or efforts, some things just take time.

“No matter how great the talent or efforts, some things just take time. You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.”

~Warren Buffett
Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance.

“Forgive me. I continue to underestimate the breadth of your ignorance.”

~Ransom Riggs
I don't need to flirt, I will seduce you with my awkwardness.

“I don't need to flirt, I will seduce you with my awkwardness.”

~Unknown
One thought-murder a day keeps the psychiatrist away.

“One thought-murder a day keeps the psychiatrist away.”

~Saul Bellow
I've found the Key to Happiness. Stay the Hell away from Assholes!

“I've found the Key to Happiness. Stay the Hell away from Assholes!”

~Unknown