“Paying for school to get a job… just to get a job to pay for school?!”


“I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they’re trying to figure out who the hell you were!”


“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”

~Lana Turner

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”

~Margaret Mead

“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”

~Ron White

“I knew I matured when I realized every situation doesn’t need a reaction. Sometimes you just have to leave people to continue to do the lame shit that they do.”


“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.”


“Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.”

~Alan W. Watts

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.”

~Mark Twain

“The more people I meet, the less I want to leave the house.”


“No matter how serious life gets you still gotta have that one person you can be completely stupid with.”


“Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.”

~Ben Hecht

“Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.”

~Mark Van Doren

“Sometimes you gotta play the role of a fool to fool the fool who THINKS they are fooling you.”


“Dear karma, I have a list of people that you missed.”


“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

~Albert Einstein

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

~Winston S. Churchill

“Don't worry about what I'm doing, worry about why you're worried about what I'm doing.”


“We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.”

~Rudyard Kipling

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.”

~Pablo Picasso

“They told me that to make her fall in love; I had to make her laugh. But every time she laughs, I’m the one who falls in love.”

~Tommaso Ferraris

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

~George Carlin

“Negative people don't want solutions. Solutions mean they have to work to find something else to be negative about!”

~Tom Ziglar

“There are over 7 BILLION PEOPLE on earth and you’re going to let 1 PERSON ruin your day? DON’T.”