Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of bullshit.

“Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of bullshit.”

~Unknown
Happy Hula Hoop Day! It's not how many times you have been

“Happy Hula Hoop Day! It's not how many times you have been around the sun, it's about all the fun times circling it with family and friends!”

~John De Witt
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep

“The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is PRICELESS.”

~Unknown
Some people are a human version of migraine.

“Some people are a human version of migraine.”

~Unknown
Know your worth. Then add tax.

“Know your worth. Then add tax.”

~Unknown
If Tetris has taught me anything, it's that errors pile up and

“If Tetris has taught me anything, it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.”

~Unknown
Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.

“Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.”

~Unknown
Putting your phone away and paying attention to those talking to you

Putting your phone away and paying attention to those talking to you: There's an App for that. It's called "Respect”.

~Unknown
Destroy racism. Be like a panda. He’s black. He’s white. He’s asian.

“Destroy racism.
Be like a panda.
He’s black.
He’s white.
He’s Asian.”

~Unknown
Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers

“Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers, then we know who owns them.”

~Robin Williams
Everybody is so obsessed with bodybuilding. We need to start building

“Everybody is so obsessed with bodybuilding. We need to start building our minds before we have a country filled with a bunch of strong, dumb motherfuckers.”

~George Carlin
So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony. But if they lie to us its politics.

“So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony. But if they lie to us its politics.”

~Bill Murray
It's better to have your nose in a book, than in someone else's business.

“It's better to have your nose in a book, than in someone else's business.”

~Adam Stanley
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

~Groucho Marx
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

~George Carlin
If you behaved like your government you'd be arrested!

“If you behaved like your government you'd be arrested!”

~Unknown
Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them, then you are an asshole.!!

“Everyone appreciates your honesty, until you're honest with them, then you are an asshole.!!”

~Unknown
Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”

~Dalai Lama
Just legalize everything and let Darwin do the rest.

“Just legalize everything and let Darwin do the rest.”

~George Carlin
An imagination comes to an open mind and that which comes to an empty

“An imagination comes to an open mind and that which comes to an empty/materialistic mind is just a hallucination.”

~Anuj Somany
Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them.

“Ever loved someone so much, you would do anything for them? Yeah, well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want.”

~Harvey Specter
You know what I like about pen and paper Nobody can hack into this shit.

“You know what I like about pen and paper? Nobody can hack into this shit.”

~Samuel L. Jackson
If I tell you I'm good, probably you will say I'm boasting. But if I tell you I'm not good, you'll know I'm lying.

“If I tell you I'm good, probably you will say I'm boasting. But if I tell you I'm not good, you'll know I'm lying.”

~Bruce Lee
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

“If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.”

~P. J. O'Rourke
If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself.

“If your religion is worth killing for, start with yourself.”

~Unknown