Everybody is so obsessed with bodybuilding. We need to start building

“Everybody is so obsessed with bodybuilding. We need to start building our minds before we have a country filled with a bunch of strong, dumb motherfuckers.”

~George Carlin
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

~George Carlin
War is rich old men protecting their wealth by sending lower and middle-class young men off to die.

“War is rich old men protecting their wealth by sending lower and middle-class young men off to die.”

~George Carlin
Just legalize everything and let Darwin do the rest.

“Just legalize everything and let Darwin do the rest.”

~George Carlin

“If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.”

~George Carlin

“Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body.”

~George Carlin

“Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.”

~George Carlin

“I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.”

~George Carlin

“Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”

~George Carlin

“Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. That is against their interests. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept it.”

~George Carlin

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

~George Carlin

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

~George Carlin

“I could never understand ethnic or national pride. Because to me, pride should be reserved for something you achieve or attain on your own, not something that happens by accident of birth. Being Irish isn’t a skill, it’s a fucking genetic accident. You wouldn’t say “I’m proud to be 5’11”. I’m proud to have a predisposition for colon cancer.” So why the fuck would you be proud to be Irish, or proud to be Italian, or American or anything?”

~George Carlin